The splay of self-display, the playful tit for tat of sizing up, the survival game of eating each other up. It’s disgusting. It’s simply flawed. Where does sincerity fit in? Better to lose loving. Better to show no more no less than what life really is. But God can be dull
is this you? really? is this you? is this going to be your projection that leads to a your definitive being? sad really... where lies within?
Monday, January 10, 2011
chemistry
Methanphatamine, Adrenaline. Endorphine. Dopamine.
Chemicals. Period. It seems so hard now to live a life without the help of simulants to keep going. Our truest composition of our emotions, passions, are just chemistry.
Knowing what we know now, it shows how unhappy and desperate we really are in our constant seeking or consumption of synthetic drugs or external drives to counter the excesses of chemical inbounds that produces anxiety, disappointment, fear, resentment, depression, depression…whilst this can be fought internally.
When we do know this however, and manage to present an optimum state of mind, would it be out of shear control? A simple mind game? A simple equation of subtract, and multiply of chemistry-math in play? Where’s does sincerity fit in? Where does self, fit in?
It seems so much easier to lose oneself than growing a self. A life without intent or a meaning that drives, resolves to this, the chase of the dragon.
To want, to desire is all that takes to build a path; to want, to desire what the heart wants seems to take a lifetime. God I feel so lost. My battle with confusion, fear, and hatred seems harder each day. Each day I feel the flame of me flickering no more than the ember of a burning coal. It’s only too soon to give way before my next discovery.
Chemicals. Period. It seems so hard now to live a life without the help of simulants to keep going. Our truest composition of our emotions, passions, are just chemistry.
Knowing what we know now, it shows how unhappy and desperate we really are in our constant seeking or consumption of synthetic drugs or external drives to counter the excesses of chemical inbounds that produces anxiety, disappointment, fear, resentment, depression, depression…whilst this can be fought internally.
When we do know this however, and manage to present an optimum state of mind, would it be out of shear control? A simple mind game? A simple equation of subtract, and multiply of chemistry-math in play? Where’s does sincerity fit in? Where does self, fit in?
It seems so much easier to lose oneself than growing a self. A life without intent or a meaning that drives, resolves to this, the chase of the dragon.
To want, to desire is all that takes to build a path; to want, to desire what the heart wants seems to take a lifetime. God I feel so lost. My battle with confusion, fear, and hatred seems harder each day. Each day I feel the flame of me flickering no more than the ember of a burning coal. It’s only too soon to give way before my next discovery.
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